I suffer from Postpartum Depression. It was bad when I had Jade, but I got through it with therapy and the support of my loving husband. I had Maxwell 7 months ago, and I have it pretty bad again. I can’t sleep well. I can’t focus. My memory is all over the place. I’m exhausted. And, if I let myself, I cry myself to sleep every night. Why? My children are wonderful. My life is perfect. I couldn’t ask for anything better. It’s just these darned hormones messing with me.
But, I get through each day without crying, without breaking down, making sure my family is well taken care of, for just one reason. That reason is my beautiful, sweet, crazy daughter. Because she is here, always here, asking questions, with me, and wanting to be with me. I am strong, for her. I don’t cry all the time, for her. I don’t break down every minute, for her. I get up and put food on the table, for her. I keep the house clean, for her. I go out and socialize with others, for her.
I know I will get through this, but right now, I need her. So, when you ask to take my beautiful, sweet girl “off my hands,” you are taking away everything that is holding me together. When you take her away from me, you make my day more difficult, because I have to dig deep down and find my own strength to keep everything going. It is exhausting, and I feel like I am going to collapse by the end of the day. And, I feel like I’ve missed something. I feel like I am a failure in my job.
So, I know you are well-meaning and you are just trying to help. But, I want to be with my children. I want to experience everything I possibly can with them. I am a stay-at-home mom to be with them. I don’t want to miss a thing. When I miss something, I feel like I failed, which takes me deeper into my depression, making it even more difficult for me to get out of it.
My lovely daughter is amazing. My precious son is amazing. Without them, I am nothing.
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