1 week until my 5K

I’ve been running for about 10 years now.  But, I could never get past the 2 mile mark for the longest time.  I try and try, but my chest tightens up, phlegm starts to build up in my chest, and I start coughing. I find it hard to go on.

2 months after Maxwell was born, I decided that I was going to run a 5K.  I started running, and the same thing happened.  But, come a few months later, I decided that I was going to do it, no matter what, and I registered for the Princess 5K at Disney.  I’d have a year after Maxwell’s birth to get it.  I found that, once I hit the wall, even stopping didn’t matter.  The coughing actually got worse when I stopped.  So, one day, I just kept running, through the pain … through the inability to breath.  And, surprising enough, after a half mile, it got a little easier.  I finished my first 5K.  When I got home and sat down, I still felt like I was going to die.  I coughed all day long.  I could barely pick up my kids, I was so weak.

Then, 3 months ago, we moved to San Antonio.  It’s harder here to run.  The hills are just too much.  I haven’t been able to run a full 5K since we moved here.  I have to walk up the bigger hills, but my pace has been close to an acceptable pace over-all.  I’m just very nervous about next week.  Plus, the benefits I was hoping for when I started this haven’t come true.

I’ve now run/walked a 5k, once a week for the past few months  now.  Do I feel better?  No.  Am I healthier?  No.  I’m actually less healthy.  Since I started running, I’ve gained 10 pounds for each mile that I added.  So, in the past 4 months, I’ve gained 20 pounds!  Does my daughter see someone she can be proud of?  No.  In fact, on my last run, while I was pushing the 60 pound stroller up the huge hill, coughing, she said to me, “Mommy, why are you going so slow?  Why aren’t you running?”

So, I’m 1 week from my 5K.  I still don’t know if I’ll be able to finish, or if the “your going too slow” cart will pick me up part way through the run.  I need to finish.  I need to see my daughter’s face as I cross the finish line.  I need my husband to be proud of me for finishing.

But what next?  The reason I started this was to get healthier.  But, 20 extra pounds later that hasn’t happened.  I couldn’t imagine pushing myself further and gaining more weight. What’s my new goal? I’ll keep you posted when I figure it out.  I’m open to any suggestions, especially from my fitness friends!