Emotions running wild!

Ok, so I’ve been pregnant (for the most part) for over a year now.  With 2 miscarriages and now being 26 weeks pregnant, I’ve had hormones going through my system for 14 months now.  To say I’m going crazy might be a bit of an understatement.

Is it possible to go crazy for an overdose of hormones? To think that it has been 14 months and that I still have 3 months left of this pregnancy and then a year and a half of breastfeeding after that.  Will I be able to survive this emotional roller coaster?  Why can’t people be more understanding and helpful instead of selfish?

Ok, so to give any newcomers a quick history … Last year, in August, we got pregnant (ecstatic!)  but we lost the baby in September.  We waited the recommended time after our loss and got pregnant again in November.  We lost that baby as well.  After many tests, we found a large pollup  (sp?) that was not allowing the baby to attach to the wall, and had that removed in February.  Finally, after allowing the required healing time, we got pregnant again in April. Since getting pregnant, I spent 3 1/2 months throwing up everything I could think of eating.  Then, when the morning sickness went away, when I started eating, I would pass out.  Turns out, it was gestational diabetes, and here we are, controlling, and hoping that the high blood pressure doesn’t come on like it did with my daughter.

So, as you can see, super emotional 14 months, plus, a very rough 14 months.

Now, here I am wondering how some people can be so selfish.  If someone wants to do something nice for you, why can’t it be just that?  Why does it have to have ulterior motives?  And, when someone tries to apologize for miscommunications and  misunderstandings, why do people have to get rude and start bringing in false accusations about how I am feeling?  Yes, I’ll admit I have a lot of emotions, but thinking negatively about other people is NOT on my list of things to do right now.  Honestly, if I’m not thinking positively about you, I’M NOT THINKING ABOUT YOU!  There is too much negativity in this world. Why would I waste my time having negative thoughts about anyone?!

I love my family, but I am over with the over dramatizations of everything!!! If you can’t be a positive influence in my children’s lives, I don’t want you in their lives. Period. End of story. I don’t want them surrounded by drama. I don’t want them surrounded by negative thinking. I don’t want them to see selfishness from people they are supposed to look up to.

Ok, now I’ve asked for comments and help the past couple of posts, and so far, nothing. But, I’ll keep asking.  Am I being too emotional?  Should I let these people be part of this time (when I don’t need stress and unhappiness around me) just because they are family?