Emotions running wild!

Ok, so I’ve been pregnant (for the most part) for over a year now.  With 2 miscarriages and now being 26 weeks pregnant, I’ve had hormones going through my system for 14 months now.  To say I’m going crazy might be a bit of an understatement.

Is it possible to go crazy for an overdose of hormones? To think that it has been 14 months and that I still have 3 months left of this pregnancy and then a year and a half of breastfeeding after that.  Will I be able to survive this emotional roller coaster?  Why can’t people be more understanding and helpful instead of selfish?

Ok, so to give any newcomers a quick history … Last year, in August, we got pregnant (ecstatic!)  but we lost the baby in September.  We waited the recommended time after our loss and got pregnant again in November.  We lost that baby as well.  After many tests, we found a large pollup  (sp?) that was not allowing the baby to attach to the wall, and had that removed in February.  Finally, after allowing the required healing time, we got pregnant again in April. Since getting pregnant, I spent 3 1/2 months throwing up everything I could think of eating.  Then, when the morning sickness went away, when I started eating, I would pass out.  Turns out, it was gestational diabetes, and here we are, controlling, and hoping that the high blood pressure doesn’t come on like it did with my daughter.

So, as you can see, super emotional 14 months, plus, a very rough 14 months.

Now, here I am wondering how some people can be so selfish.  If someone wants to do something nice for you, why can’t it be just that?  Why does it have to have ulterior motives?  And, when someone tries to apologize for miscommunications and  misunderstandings, why do people have to get rude and start bringing in false accusations about how I am feeling?  Yes, I’ll admit I have a lot of emotions, but thinking negatively about other people is NOT on my list of things to do right now.  Honestly, if I’m not thinking positively about you, I’M NOT THINKING ABOUT YOU!  There is too much negativity in this world. Why would I waste my time having negative thoughts about anyone?!

I love my family, but I am over with the over dramatizations of everything!!! If you can’t be a positive influence in my children’s lives, I don’t want you in their lives. Period. End of story. I don’t want them surrounded by drama. I don’t want them surrounded by negative thinking. I don’t want them to see selfishness from people they are supposed to look up to.

Ok, now I’ve asked for comments and help the past couple of posts, and so far, nothing. But, I’ll keep asking.  Am I being too emotional?  Should I let these people be part of this time (when I don’t need stress and unhappiness around me) just because they are family?

How do you avoid stress?

I’m 25 weeks pregnant.  I have gestational diabetes.  I have a history of pre-eclampsia.  I have a two year old that acts like she’s four. I have a husband who has stress issues.  How can I keep my blood pressure down?

We started remodeling our bathroom a year ago.  I hired someone to do most of the work, but when it was close to being done, my husband sent him home and said he would finish the job.  Now, a year later, it still isn’t done.

I’m 25 weeks pregnant and we haven’t started getting the nursery ready.  We need to clear out the room, get new carpet, paint, get the furniture purchased and put together. Ugh!

I am having a garage sale in less than a month.  In order to try to help pay for everything, I’m trying to sell some of our old stuff (Jade’s old clothes, since we’re having a boy, my old clothes, since some of it just isn’t worth keeping, furniture, etc.).  I have to get ready for that too.

My family just spent a week and a half here, at Disney.

Halloween, Thanksgiving, and Christmas are right around  the corner. Plus, Jade’s birthday is shortly after all of that.

I am the President of the MOMS Club of Orlando – Conway and my Administrative Vice President quit with no notice and now my Sunshine Coordinator has announced she’d like to step down from her position.  So, now I need to find replacements, and no one is stepping up.

I need a stress-reliever.  Any ideas?  Drinking is not an option.  Running is not an option.  I would love to cook, but I can’t eat any of it and it depresses me, so cooking is not an option.  Please, comment with ideas for me.  I could really use them! I don’t want to end up on bed rest this time!

End of no-spend September

Well, we made it through no-spend September, and it was rough.  I learned a lot and we did ok, but not as well as expected.

Lessons:

1. My husband sucked at no-spend September.  He did spend a lot less than normal, but he couldn’t go a month without buying cigars.

2. I suck at spending less at grocery shopping.  I was unable to stay within our budget.  Although, I had a major change to my diet during that time, with the gestational diabetes, I couldn’t stay within budget.  I did look over all of the stuff that I bought, and couldn’t find anything that we didn’t need.

3.  We did great with not eating out. I think that trying to figure out the new Gestational Diabetes diet helped, since it is difficult to figure out a new diet when you are eating out.  But, I was very proud of my ability to cook new and different things to keep dinner exciting, for an entire month.

4. Unexpected things always come up.  That is one thing that we’ll have to take into consideration if we ever need to do this for real.  Jade’s school supplies were a lot more than I expected.  My car got a nail in its tire.  But, all-in-all, it wasn’t so bad.

Well, I’m kind of proud of myself. I’m not as disappointed in my husband as I expected it would be  Yea! Go Us!

Monitoring my sugar

So, as you all heard, I was diagnosed with gestational diabetes over a month ago. I finally had my appointment with MFM and the diabetes educator last week and have been testing my sugar for over a week now.

For the most part, my levels have been good.  There are a few  tricky things that following the diet does not help with, and I’m still trying to figure out everything I can and can not eat. Here’s what I’ve learned in the first week.

1.  I must eat all whole grains.  If I eat anything that is processed at all (I had garden pasta one night, and a flour tortilla another night), my sugar levels go through the roof.

2.  I can’t have any cereal in the morning (not even a whole grain cereal).  I only had 1 serving of starch and it was whole grain, along with my milk and protein, and my sugar levels went through the roof.

3.  If my sugar is high at night, it will be low in the morning. If my sugar is low at night, it will be higher in the morning, approaching bad fasting levels.

4. If I have my afternoon snack too close to dinner, my sugar levels will be high.

5. I have to over stuff myself at lunch to eat all of the food required, but if I don’t, my sugar levels go high.

So, what am I eating?  Here is a breakdown of my diet for the next 4 months.

First, a couple of definitions:

1. A serving of starch has 15 g of carbohydrates.  Examples include 1/3 cup of pasta or 1 slice of bread.

2. A serving of protein is 7 g of protein.

3. Milk is either a glass of milk or a serving of yogurt.

4. Vegetables only include those vegetables that have less than 5 g of carbohydrates per serving.

Breakfast includes 1 starch, 1 protein, and 1 milk.  For breakfast, the starch can not be cereal (not even a whole grain kind). My typical good breakfast includes an egg, 1/2 of an english muffin, and a glass of almond milk.

Snack includes 1 starch and 1 protein.  My snacks at this time are usually on the go, so they include one Fiber One or Glucerna bar and an ounce of cheese.

Lunch includes 2 starches, 2 proteins, 1 fruit, 1 milk, and 2 vegetables.  My lunches have usually been leftovers from a previous night.  Most of the time it’s 2 oz of chicken breast, 2/3 cup of whole wheat pasta, and 1 1/2 cups of cooked vegetables, with 1/2 banana cut up in 1 cup of almond milk.

Afternoon snack includes 2 starches and 1 protein: This is usually 1/3 cup of cottage cheese and 3/4 cup of cereal (a whole grain, usually Kashi brand).

Dinner includes 2 starches, 2 vegetables, 2 proteins, and 1 fruit.  This is usually 2 oz of chicken, 2/3 cup whole grain pasta or brown rice, 1 1/2 cup of cooked vegetables, and 1 cup of strawberries.

Bedtime snack includes 1 starch, 1 protein, and 1 milk.  This usually means 1 oz of cheese, 5 whole wheat crackers, and a glass of almond milk. I switch this off and on with 2/3 cup of Greek yogurt, Kashi granola cereal, and cheese.

So, in the morning, I’m starving, at lunch I’m over full.  I can’t win.

Oh well, 4 more months, and it is all to keep my little boy healthy. I can do this!

Separation anxiety

So, as you all know, my daughter started a new school a couple of weeks ago.  She did really great the first week, but then, on her second week, she started screaming/crying, she was so upset.  She didn’t want to go to school.  If she had to go to school, she wanted me to stay.

Then, when I wanted to go to Mom’s Night Out and I went to give her a hug and kiss good-bye, she started crying, “No Mommy, don’t leave us.”  Then, she did the same thing when I tried to leave to go to a doctor’s appointment.  It’s so sad to hear and see her crying because she doesn’t want me to leave.

Also, when I come to pick her up from school, the teachers say she has been fine all day up until right before it is time to leave.  Then, she asks if Mommy is coming to get her now, and she starts to cry again.

I don’t know what to do.  Everything that I’ve read says that separation anxiety should be over by now, but it is just starting for her.  I’m wondering if it has anything to do with her last tooth coming in.  I also wonder if it has anything to do with the upcoming arrival of her baby brother.

Any advice anyone can offer me would be greatly appreciated.  This very emotional pregnant woman can’t handle hearing her daughter cry like that all the time.

Spend-free month update

So, a few months back, my husband and I decided that September was going to be spend-free month. What does this mean?  We still pay all of our bills and buy gifts for birthdays and such, but we don’t buy anything extra.  That includes no eating out, no spending on frivolous items. We only buy what we need to get buy.

So, we are almost half-way through the month.  How are we doing?

We have not eaten out at all.  Well, that’s not true.  My husband is allowed 1 lunch out a week with his friend at work.

I had to buy school supplies for my daughter’s school (since I didn’t get the list until September already started).  That was expensive.

I haven’t been doing so well at the grocery store.  I spent $160 the first week and $120 the second week.  I allotted myself $450 to spend on groceries, and it is going to be hard.  I will keep you posted to see how that goes.

I had to buy birthday presents and gifts for my family too.

So, all-in-all, we’re doing horribly.  But, we still have 2 weeks left.  I hope I can stick to what I’ve been doing well so far. And, I hope I can do better with the extras.

Jade’s first day at a new school

My beautiful big girl is just that … a big girl. I already mentioned why we had to switch her schools at the last minute, and well, today was her first day.

At her new school, all the kids and parents wait on the sidewalk for the teachers to come out to walk them back to their classrooms.  While we’re waiting, Jade starts to get nervous as more kids start to line up behind her.  “Momma, pick me up,” she says, as I hold all of her school supplies and her backpack. But, I can see that she’s a bit nervous. So, I pick her up for a couple of seconds to get her comforted. And, the teachers come out.

Her teacher explains to me the process and asks Jade if she wants to walk back with her, or if she wants me to walk her back.  Jade grabs my hand (I had set her down to sign in) and clings to me. So, I walk her back.

When we get to the classroom, she heads straight over to the kitchen while I talk to the teacher that is in the room, hand over the supplies, etc.  She has already made herself at home with the toys.  When I’m done talking, I tell her I’d like to show her the potty before I go.  She reluctantly follows me, but is happy to see the little potty in the room.  She goes potty and washes her hands. Then, she heads right back out of the room.  The teacher is getting play dough out for all of the kids and has a fresh can in her hand.  She offers it to Jade, who pulls out the chair and sits down. “Momma, can I use this?” she says picking up a cookie cutter.  I tell her yes, and she smooshes the new play dough down with the cookie cutter.

I lean down and give her a kiss, and she looks up at me and says, “Bye, Momma.  I love you.”

I cried the entire way home.  I know, I’m pregnant and over emotional.  She is such a big girl!  I love her so much and I am so proud of her!  I just hope that she is in a good mood and had a good day when I pick her up from school in 2 hours.